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Moguchij Byurokrat
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Song in Russian about a typical bureaucrat who acts like a tsar in his own little world
parody russian bureaucrats song about bureaucrats
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A mainly one-person band featuring strong vocals and guitar back-up, playing a variety of songs in a rock, folk, and pop blend. The songs range from science ner
Cosmos II is the pseudonym of Alan Marscher, a professor of astronomy at Boston University. Usually, he performs alone on guitar and vocals. The songs are all originals composed and copyrighted by Marscher. Some are "science nerd" songs that Cosmos II performs to science students at B.U. The majority, though, are just general songs about life, love, the pursuit of happiness and meaning, and various other random topics. Most of the songs are in English, while some are in Russian, the country where Marscher's wife, Svetlana hails from. The style is a mixture of rock, pop, and folk - what is often termed "adult contemporary." Many are humorous - e.g., "Medical Miracle" about how Viagra has revitalized a lot of middle-aged men or "Relatively Weird" about the wonders and perils of traveling around at near-light speeds. Others are philosophical, such as "All from Nothing?" about how the universe came to exist and "Elusive Truth" that asks whether absolute truth can exist. Some are just plain love songs - an example is "Together or Apart" - and others are love-is-difficult songs, like "Winter's Darkness." Laughs and tears for everyone! Marscher recorded all of the songs himself on a small digital recorder. He doesn't have loads of free time, so he hasn't worked hard enough to remove imperfections, add a drum pattern, etc. But most songs have harmony and are at least at the "demo" level of quality. Friends who have listened to them have neither gone mad nor rushed the CD to the local recycling center. More importantly to Cosmos II, Marscher can listen to them without wretching in horror over the slight mis-timings of the different tracks and other imperfections.
Song Info
Genre
Podcasts • Parody
Charts
#7 today Peak #1
#2 in subgenre Peak #1
Author
Alan Marscher
Rights
2013 by Alan Marscher
Uploaded
July 07, 2013
Track Files
MP3
MP3 3.8 MB • 160 kbps • 3:20
Story behind the song
The first time I traveled to Russia (St. Petersburg), I had a business visa that I needed to register at some office in the city. The office was open to the public only two separate two-hour intervals during the week. I went during the first of these open hours. The bureaucrat motioned for me to sit in a chair in the waiting area and proceeded to process some paperwork, going to his file cabinet multiple times. Then, after about 10 minutes, he motioned for me to sit in the chair next to his desk. He looked at my passport, visa, and form, then went through several maneuvers, including visits to his file cabinet. Eventually, he signed the form, gave it to me, and said that I needed to take it to the cashier upstairs, pay the fee, and bring the receipt and form back to him. So I went upstairs, only to find that the cashier had no open hours that day. So, I had to return the next day when the cashier was open, and then yet another day when the bureaucrat's office was open. Whew! The song arose from this incident. Of course, it is not just a satire of a Russian bureaucrat, but bureaucrats everywhere that lord over their tiny little kingdoms, setting up Catch-22 type situations than enhance their power.
Lyrics
Ya moguchij byurokrat! - I am a mighty bureaucrat! Bez menya bam nechego delat' - Without me you can do nothing Ya shtampuyu vashi dokumenty - I'll stamp your document A chtob umolit' menya ypadite na koleni - But in order to appease me fall down on your knees Mozhet byt' togda obdymayu vashi proc'by - Maybe then I'll consider your requests 1. Moj kabinet rabotaet kazhdyj chetverg i vtornik - My office words every Thursday and Tuesday S chacu do tryox, konechno krome prazdnikov sluzhebnyh - From 1:00 to 3:00, except of course for official holidays No vy by schastlivymi byli menya tam najti - But you would be lucky to find me there Potomu chto eto tozhe vremya vzyat' moj pereryv - Because it is also the time to take my break Ya moguchij byurokrat! - I am a mighty bureaucrat! Bez menya bam nechego delat' - Without me you can do nothing Ya shtampuyu vashi dokumenty - I'll stamp your document A chtob umolit' menya ypadite na koleni - But in order to appease me fall down on your knees I zovite menya <> - And call me "my esteemed sir" 2. Ya zhe budu delat' v svoyo vremya vashi bumagi - I will indeed process your papers in due course Za obychnuyu taksu stol'nika rublej novyh - For the usual fee of 100 new rubles [new = after the currency was devalued] No ya srazu oxotno podmahnu vse vashi formy - But I will gladly process your forms right away Kak tol'ko derevyannye privratyatcya zhe v zelyonnyh - Only if the wood [worthless] money is transformed into green [foreign currency] Ya moguchij byurokrat! - I am a mighty bureaucrat! Bez menya bam nechego delat' - Without me you can do nothing Ya shtampuyu vashi dokumenty - I'll stamp your document A chtob umolit' menya ypadite na koleni - But in order to appease me fall down on your knees I tselujte moi stupni kogda ya postavlyu podpis' And kiss the bottom of my feet when I bestow my signature Ya moguchij byurokrat! Ya moguchij byurokrat! Ya moguchij, ya da moguchij, ya zhe moguchij byurokrat! Ya moguchij, ya da moguchij, ya moguchij byurokrat!
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